Emotional Healing Through Homeschool

At the beginning of the 2014/2015 school year, we pulled our 8th grader out of public school. She had been begging me to homeschool her through most of her second semester of her seventh grade year. Her sensitive spirit was getting pummeled every day. She was taking to heart all of the mean things kids were saying to her in the hallways and under their breath in the classroom. She was called names, bad names, and really bad names. Her previous classmates and strangers spewed ugly words at her for no reason. Even the friend she spent the most time with outside of school would turn on her at school. This girl would call her a cow in the lunchroom and make comments about her breaking the seat at their table if she sat on it. She told her and the other kids at the table the seat wasn't big enough for her fat butt. My daughter took her crap and continued to be her friend at home. But soon, my child was not eating lunch at school and to avoid ridicule, she spent her lunch period in the bathroom. Alone.

I knew the situation was bad, because my daughter's sunny demeanor was turning gray. I was letting her ride her tough friendship out, knowing girl's friendships can be on & off in cycles. She always made friends easily, was very outgoing, enjoyed being around people. She was fun- loving, witty, but something had changed in 7th grade.  With all the girls.  She tried to develop a shield, but it closed her off. It didn't protect her enough. She was getting seriously injured as time went by.
And how was her dad & I equipping her?  We told her to hang in there, to stick it out. Not to believe the things people said about her. To forgive the mean girls. To show them how to be kind. Learn to go with the flow, and this time will pass.
She knew she was loved. By all of my friends, by her dad, by her extended family. But that wasn't enough. She needed to be accepted by her peers. Included into their social circles. Brought into their safe havens. She was alone. She was unprotected. And her bestie was the the one whose words cut the deepest. So she worked the hardest to win her approval. She let this girl abuse her, call the shots, demean her, and take away part of her self.

At home things were better than at school and we didn't really know how badly our child was being wounded. We didn't know the power of the lunchroom drama and our girl was too ashamed to reveal it. This girl flew under the parental radar like a pro. She held my daughter's heart in her hand and only squeezed it when we were not looking. Clever!
Instead of coming clean at a parent meeting between the girls and moms, the girl sat silent and made my daughter out to be a fool. Later she set up her up for a fall. It worked and her mother banned my child from her child. She believed her daughter's lies and severed ties between us all. Thank God!

We felt relieved. It was a loss at first but we've become healthier without these people in our lives. And we forgave them.

This week is spring break, and we are two-thirds finished with our eighth grade year of homeschooling together. My daughter has really blossomed cognitively, mentally, physically, and emotionally and socially.  She has made new friends at her homeschooling academies and rekindled old friendships worth keeping. Best of all, she has figured out she sold herself short in her previous relationship and mistakenly gave someone else power over her.

My daughter is happy, witty and fun-loving again. Her grayness has become a calm blue with highlights of sunny yellow.
So glad to have my girl back!

Stay tuned for more about our homeschool days...and plans for high school...