Emily and I had a meaningful discussion while she was doing the dishes by hand and I was de- cluttering the living room. She had just finished watching the reality show, "Dance Moms." Or shall I say, I made her get up and work instead of entertaining her fascination with the emotional chaos the show emotes. It gives me a headache just having it on, but she seems to enjoy observing their dysfunctional relationships.
We talked about how hard those dancers work and she said she wouldn't work that hard unless it was her passion ( or "my thing" she called it). Then she asked me when she was going to find "her thing."
I've been pondering that for a while, because kids and parents these define children by what talent they are great at. These children's talents are topics of many parents discussions & posts on social media sites, and I've felt the need to be proud of my daughter's great talent. But think she hasn't found her thing yet. So I keep looking for it, and I know she is waiting for its great reveal too.
I've come to the conclusion this has been putting stress on our relationship. Why does she have to be dedicated to an instrument, a sport, a hobby, or straight As, or a combination of these? Why can't she and I be happy with her sweet, merciful demeanor?
Who she is amazes me! She is very gifted and talented in many ways, but why do I have to stress her and myself out finding her passion? I don't! She has experienced many things but photography, softball, basketball, horseback riding, swimming, drawing, sculpting, theater, scrap booking, piano, guitar, and soccer have not been "her thing." She has been good or great at all these activities but none been her passion.
Why does she have to have a passion for something to brag about anyway? Can't I be happy with who she is rather than what activity she is involved in. Yes I can!
My creative, thoughtful daughter is wonderful just the way she is. And at 12 her passion is to be a good friend...and I'm proud of that!
