Lessons in Protecting My Child's Innocence

After saying, "No" for months, I activated my old iPhone for my teen daughter.  I knew this meant more work for me to keep a watch on her social media activities and protect her from sexual predators.  I was willing to invest in that, so she could have this luxury item.  Immediately she started filling up her screen with apps, so I did too.  I learned about a tracker app, Life 360, and now I feel empowered about keeping tabs on my daughter's physical location.  It checks her in when she gets home and I get an email.  Plus it shows registered sex offenders who live around us. Just letting her be outside can be dangerous these days. I rely on the buddy system most of the time.

So, Not only do I have to protect her from sexual predators near and far, i's my job to protect her mind too. The filth in the world now has a direct line to my child if I am not careful.  A friend recommended I always have the password for all devices that plug in.  Sage advice.  And I know how sneaky teens can be...I was one once.

Things have gone along well so far until recently, when I became suspicious of the hours of "reading" she was doing on her phone.  She had been asking me to get the app too and read things I am interested in. She told me she was reading fanfic about her favorite boy band and described what that was, no I didn't know.  I put her off, thinking all was good, not taking her up on her offer or checking into this further.  Was she trying to ask me to check on her? Making sure she was abiding by the conservative rule of thumb of our home? 

Not long ago She got a Facebook account because she became of legal age, but I knew that medium was passé.  Instagram and Snapchat were the next new apps teens were into.  I made myself aware of these foto apps by having accounts and sending out pix on them too. ( No I'm not trying to be a hip mom). Thank God I had worked with the youth at church to observe the changing trends of the next best app.  I would have been focused on watching the wrong app for insight into my daughter's developing social media habits.

That is just it, these apps trend in and out faster and faster and a parent can have a difficult time keeping a good grasp on their teens safety let alone protect their children's innocence. But I

won't be fooled or left behind in the uploading dust of my daughter. I have relied on other mom's advise and always welcome yours! Dad's too.

Now to my latest catch, the wattpad app.  It has a worthy description and it seems like a great reading and publishing resource.  Ya, right!  I finally took our girl up on her offer to try it and immediately became alarmed.  I was able to read some pretty racy stuff and there is even easily accessible rated R literature on this sight. Along with real authors, anyone can publish graphic pieces of a story and get immediate feedback by world hungry teens.  There are no rating filters in place, that I saw.  If you are reading other teens writings the format is very alluring.  The reader is left hanging chapter by chapter, until the "author" publishes the next excerpt. I imagine the feedback gives the young authorship more incentive to create a more adult text each time they post more of their fiction. And some start out with lusty scenes I never want my teen to read.

Needless to say, I have been awakened to the increasing intensity of this job of protecting my daughter's innocence.  We both deleted our wattapps and from now on I will take her up on her offer of checking out the true content of an app she asks to download.

What experiences have you encountered that might aid me in keeping some of my girl's innocence intact?

First Redecorating Pix

Our decorator Elizabeth Hall Designs (http://www.elizabethhalldesigns.com/) has helped us making choices with our downstairs living spaces. We are using the traditional style in the living room and breakfast area with western style in the adjoining family room. We got a few new pieces of furniture and all new curtains, which we are waiting to hang. The painters will be here next week to turn our drab living room walls into green and boring family room walls tan with one faux leather looking wall. Note: the entertainment center will move behind the chairs where the table was located. I hung an open frame around my family/home/blessing wall decal. The red chair will accompany my new secretary across from the new kitchen table. More pix to come...

Nanna's Style

Nanna didn't have money to decorate her home and didn't particularly want her walls to look like everyone else's with store bought pictures. She took a folk art oil class and enjoyed painting, so she began filling her home with her own painted things. Soon she was on her way to creating the home she wanted.

Nana's painted projects began to include crafts too. She got many ideas for things to paint from magazines, craft shows, and stores. She enjoyed shopping antique shops and collecting items to embellish. She was always sketching ideas for things to create and display in her home. She would incorporated textiles, metal, ribbons & twine. She also was an accomplished seamstress and she knew how to use a drill press and jig saw. Eventually she was making annual Christmas decorations to sell and share with family members. Each holiday there were different nick nacks she had spent hours making, so her decor was updated and fit her own style.

One of my favorite paintings is on an old wooden ironing board. She hung it with an antique iron piece and an old painted match holder.

This is one she did and framed.

She made each item in this vignette, including the shelf.

This was an old sled decoration she took apart and painted the bottom.

Here's a glittery Santa craft.

And this is the whole Christmas display. She is so good at decorating!

This is a closed off doorway, so they built a cabinet below and a niche above. She painted the interior, hung the mirror & placed a few old items with a live plant. So tastefully done.

She painted this lamp and framed a picture from a child's book.

Nanna created this corner shelf and another one like it on each side of the guest bed. She made the headboard from a fence she painted white. It is clever how she built the shelf with the cord behind it. The lace which overhangs the small shelf finishes it off well!

This chest was painted by Nanna and she covered a hole on it with the plaque. She used books to bring height to the ceramic duck and the cake stand to heighten the flowerpot. The two pictures were framed children's book illustrations. Everything is set on a doily or lace cloth and makes it look very feminine.

These are framed doilies, and the top one has an old button on it.

This dormer is decked out! Nana painted the cabinet and created and sewed the cat family. The antique mirror and oak shelf are mismatched but really work. The live plants are on hand cut/hand painted plant stands. She made the valance to go with the lace sheers. Can you tell her favorite colors are pink & green?

This is only a sampling of the decor she has had displayed in her home over the years. It is mostly one of a kind and is personalized for a traditional American home. Nanna has a true talent for interior design!

Finding my Child's Passion

Emily and I had a meaningful discussion while she was doing the dishes by hand and I was de- cluttering the living room. She had just finished watching the reality show, "Dance Moms." Or shall I say, I made her get up and work instead of entertaining her fascination with the emotional chaos the show emotes. It gives me a headache just having it on, but she seems to enjoy observing their dysfunctional relationships.

We talked about how hard those dancers work and she said she wouldn't work that hard unless it was her passion ( or "my thing" she called it). Then she asked me when she was going to find "her thing."

I've been pondering that for a while, because kids and parents these define children by what talent they are great at. These children's talents are topics of many parents discussions & posts on social media sites, and I've felt the need to be proud of my daughter's great talent. But think she hasn't found her thing yet. So I keep looking for it, and I know she is waiting for its great reveal too.

I've come to the conclusion this has been putting stress on our relationship. Why does she have to be dedicated to an instrument, a sport, a hobby, or straight As, or a combination of these? Why can't she and I be happy with her sweet, merciful demeanor?

Who she is amazes me! She is very gifted and talented in many ways, but why do I have to stress her and myself out finding her passion? I don't! She has experienced many things but photography, softball, basketball, horseback riding, swimming, drawing, sculpting, theater, scrap booking, piano, guitar, and soccer have not been "her thing." She has been good or great at all these activities but none been her passion.

Why does she have to have a passion for something to brag about anyway? Can't I be happy with who she is rather than what activity she is involved in. Yes I can!

My creative, thoughtful daughter is wonderful just the way she is. And at 12 her passion is to be a good friend...and I'm proud of that!