REAL Discipleship by Lori Carr

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Lori Carr has mentored younger women for over 35 years.  God has grown her and used her to write the curriculum for REAL Discipleship. In this course, she gives us the skills to ask questions and dig deeper, how to discern where your disciple is spiritually and how to connect with gals in their twenties and older, and how to navigate this relationship.

Session One Podcast

In the first session Lori said we only want to mentor F.A.T. Christians.  Those women who are truly faithful, available, and teachable.  As disciples those qualities apply to us also.  Lori shared resources in her Discipling Tool Box.  She recommend we begin gathering and filling our discipling toolboxes with things that have helped us grow in Christ and we can share with others. 

Some of Lori's favorite tools are Corrie Ten Boom's book "The Hiding Place."  She recommended Larry Crabb's "Soul Talk" and Cynthia Healds books for women, since Cynthia was her personal mentor (before becoming a Christian women's author.) She gave us a taste of Bob Sorge's "Secrets of the Secret Place," see graphic. You can see more resources at

Pinterest Discipling Women

Lori has refined good questions and comments to direct a conversation deeper like "What were you really thinking?" "We need to talk about this." "What did God teach you in the Word this week?"

It's important to come across not judgmental.  Instead of judging "Suzy" for being late to church again, be discerning and wonder why she was late.  At the right time, say "I noticed you have been late to church (pause)..." Give her time to think and share.  And focus on listening.

Learn to view our alone time with the Lord as ETERNAL INVESTMENT! OUR REFUGE!


Lori reminds us that Corrie Ten Boom's experience with the fleas in the concentration camp, which protected them from sexual abuse; we must learn to be grateful to God for the protection we pray for in life even though it may be uncomfortable.

Are we holding out our hands to God saying use me?  

Remember the disciples gave up everything, left their families and homes to follow Jesus into ministry.  Taking time with mentors may mean giving up things we like do with our time, like taking trips or missing that movie to teach Sunday School. Don't believe the lie that sacrifice will be miserable.  When we find ourselves holding on too tightly to something, God may ask us to give it up.

Class Homework:

Minimum 2 times /week:  Journal during your Bible time.  Focus on 1-3 verses.  Ask yourself, what did the verse say to me, what did it mean to me, and what does God wants me to do with it.

Week 1
Read Organic Mentoring Chapters 1-3
Take Mentor's Self Assessment p. 197
Take Mentor's Perspective p. 199

Week 2
Read Organic Mentoring Chapters 4-5

Week 3
Read Organic Mentoring Chapter 6
Take Listening skills Assessment p. 200

Week 4
Grow!! Grow!! Grow!!
Fill your toolbox!

How to have a balanced lifestyle

Sunday naps were a childhood tradition,and my parents forced me to lie in my bed after lunch for at least an hour.  The consistent routine of resting my body and shutting off my brain was torture as a child.  Little did I know learning to rest would bring balance to my life. Today, I look forward to my guilt free lazy Sunday afternoons. I make sure I get a nap and my whole family benefits when I do. I've learned to art of just being.  After all, we are human beings not human doings.

According to Relevant magazine, humans are biologically designed to routinely do nothing.  We must stop working to let nature teach us how to be creative.  If fact, habitually doing nothing trains us how to learn (www.relevantmagazine.com/life/why-we-need-start-taking-sabbath-seriously).

It is hard for us to take a weekly day off, and many American workers don't take their earned vacation days. CNN reported American workers skip vacation days or work while on vacation, because they do the job of several people, don't want to be seen as slackers, fear returning to work pile ups, suffer from digital dependance, and deal with performance identity (www.cnn.com/2014/10/22/travel/u-s-workers-vacation-time/index.html).

It's not just the paid workers of America who have adopted this unhealthy over-busy lifestyle.  Stay at home mothers live by these unspoken rules too.  Barbara Brown Taylor, New York Times best-selling author, and professor,  "Some of us have made an idol of exhaustion.  The only time we know we have done enough is when we're running on empty and when the ones we love most are the ones we see the least."  So if your work environment is also your home, the work never gets completely knocked out.   Facebook posts list how much people have accomplished in a day, because it's what makes them feel important. None of them are posting about their afternoon nap unless they are fighting the flu. Sometimes there is a post about reading in a hammock at the beach, but that's if they actually took a summer vacation or made time for margin in their life.

Brad Lomenick, innovator and leader of the Catalyst Movement in America wrote, "Margin is a powerful concept.  It creates opportunities. For businesses, margin is one of your top priorities.  Margin is business creates profits. Margin in family creates memories.  Margin in our personal finances creates generosity.  Margin in our friendships creates significance and impact.  Margin in our lives overall creates options.  Options to pursue dreams, think, pray, relax, meditate, process, grow and ultimately live life more fully." When I am taking a weekly day to rest, it's my margin.  I'm designed to watch the birds, snuggle with my daughter, and cook a creative meal for my family.

In her book, Breathe, Priscilla Shirer said, " We have to know when we've worked enough, tried enough, gathered enough, purchased enough, said enough, stored enough, kept enough, created enough, produced enough, generated enough, consumed enough, labored enough, expended enough, spent enough.  Somebody has got to say 'ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.'"

So, I'm thankful my parents taught me it is okay to stop and rest, create margin, and say "enough." Routine resting is part of the equation to a balanced lifestyle.

How I Had a Parenting Win!

She asked to stay home today and I have learned when she is trying to manipulate me.  How she sounds, when and where she tells me.  Does she give me eye contact or text me.  While my blood pressure rises like it's a crisis decision,  I have to take into consideration how many days she has missed, her grades, my judgment of her ability to push through  a cold, allergies, stress, or all three.

After a few attempts and observations, a good mom knows how to read her child and how to send her on her way packing her backpack or when it's a call the doctor, go by the pharmacy & watch movies kind of day.

God is our perfect parent and He knows when to give us justice and make our life hard by logical or natural consequences.  And He knows when it's time to give us grace and soften the impending consequences to our actions or even eliminate them all together.  I love the way He parents me and how He gave me examples in the Bible to follow, and the Holy Spirit to guide me to guide this child (who He also gave me.)

There is a vast difference between God's perfect parenting style and my trial and error style.  But today I am confident that I did it right.  And I know this from the peaceful thoughts in my head.

Any good mom knows that a sick day for a kid means a change in her schedule too.  Being vigilent towards the physical and emotional needs of her child is the first priority.  Secondary is the daily chores and errands.  Forget the lists and check marks for the day.  The day will be filled with physical sacrifice and soft words.  The nurse hat goes on and the manager hat comes off.

She texted me and I know that means she wants me to hear her words and not jump to conclusions too quickly.  I know she had a cold over 10 days ago and it could have settled into a sinus infection.  The crazy long weekend and storms has uprooted her eating and sleeping patterns, plus the mold allergies are off the charts.  I have a dull headache from the pollen today too and it's easy to hear God tell me, "Let her stay home, it's not a productive learning day so close to the end of school, and she could use some antibiotics.  The doctor's note will cover her absence today and you will get to hang with your teen for a quiet rest day.  It's a gift."

A peek thru the keyhole to my life

This past rainy weekend was very lazy, I stayed in my pajamas and didn't go out all day.  I listened to much of an audio book “The Girl on the Train” as I worked at my desk in my kitchen.  I’ve been pondering what I should blog about.  I know that making it personal grabs people’s attention and keeps it more than just writing about facts or impersonal things, but I have trouble sharing about myself. I think I am not very interesting. 

Then I remember about an unfinished text conversation about my battle with infertility with my neighbor who is struggling with the emotional and physical battle too.  I just wrote out my notes to the moms I mentored this semester at church.  I loved sharing my time and mom story with them and they seemed to enjoy it as well.  And there’s the Brave social media I buzzed about, processing post conference ideas, following  up with my own brave art journal. I could share my menu and grocery shopping list techniques, I'm proud I figure this system out for myself.  I could share my parent success while helping my daughter through her bought of depression (now that she is in a good place.)

I’ve promised to share my eating blog along with a friend in a blog next year, after our successful weight loss.  It scares me to admit it publicaly, but I am a food addict.  I’m opening up to my friend and therapist about it and they are helping me face it and deal with it. 

I will make an appointment to talk to a dietician, my daughter’s whom I really respect.  She deals with eating disorders.  She knows how to ask the right questions and educate addicts.  I’ve realized that being an addict to food is really tough to work through because we must eat daily and cannot give it up like alcohol or drugs, which we do not need to live. And my battle against it is as difficult, and the harm to myself is significant.

Like everyone, I need accountability to motivate me to make better food choices.  I’ve gotten into bad eating habits, rewarding myself for being a nice and generous person.  But have not had any accountability for my poor eating choices, other than an eye roll from my husband or the concerned lecture from my dad. 

(Mom and I in Vegas in March)

Brave Women's Conference Is Coming!

As you may know, I work with Kat Cannon at Austin Oaks Church, see her picture below.  She is our Women's Ministry Director, and I've known her for over 10 years. God has gifted her in many ways and given her years of experience in different fields.  She has used them to HIS glory in her service to the women in our church and community.  A few years ago, God asked her to hold a "Brave Conference" for women in Austin.  She did and it became an annual endeavor which grew some each year and has empowered women in big ways!  

I've had the joy to work along side her as she plans and prepares more than 6 months in advance with her volunteer steering committee.  This year we've have been using social media to interest more women to come.  One very zealous business owner on our committee has a vision for 1,000 women to attend. Yes, she is working on the social media promotions as well as other important areas. Love that girl!!!

Why should you think about registering for the Brave Women's Conference?

  

Do you believe we are living in the last days?  Do you live a worried, fearful life and find it hard to serve or talk about God in your communities? Are you looking for brave color or shape fashion tips? Do you suffer from negative thoughts daily or suffer from depression?  Would you like to be inspired to be a better woman, mother, friend? Do you want to learn more about human trafficking? Can you confidently say to yourself, "I am brave!"? Because I've invited you to come!

How Can You Help Promote this Conference?

Would you be willing to help us promote this conference and reach our goal of 1,000 changed lives?  There are several things you can do to help us.  If you are local, you can invite a friend to attend with you.  We even have group rates and half price tickets for volunteers. 

Register at www.bravewomen.org.

No matter where you live, you can help us spread the word by  liking our facebook page (BraveWomenAustin), send out a tweet that you are registered or are praying for us (@BraveWomenConf), following us and re-pinning one of our pins on Pinterest (BraveWomenConf), or sending a picture of yourself being brave on instagram (BraveWomeninChrist) and include #bebrave2015. 

What Is The Brave Conference About This Year?

Our own beautiful Lisa Rejoice, Sylist and Gracey Snow, Consultant will show pre-conference registrants how to be brave to embrace the beauty God gives as a woman and an image bearer. This session will show how to make the most of what you've got through clothing color and shape choices.  Learn to express yourself through wardrobe and show the world who God made you to be in Him.

We also offer Meshell Baker, Vision Development Strategist to help pre- conference registrants in a hands on way to design dreams!  In this workshop, women will begin to create a Vision Board and take first steps to set in motion the life God desires them to have. They will leave with a custom made kit of supplies to help complete thier vision board using the revelations gained throughout the Brave Women's Conference.  

The third pre-conference set of registrants will screen the "In Plain Sight" documentary and have a  conversation with Sgt. Bob Miljenovich, Austin Police Department Human Trafficking and Vice Unit. Maybe you’ve heard the term sex trafficking. It’s simply a politically-correct way of saying sexual slavery.  While public slavery in the United States is over, there is still a large market for buying and selling women and children…in our city. It’s being sold through ads in the back weekly newspapers, posts on Craigslist.com and Backpage.com, at massage parlors, via escort services, at truck stops, and at a motel you drive by on a daily basis. 

All registrants will spend time in worship with Candace Bellamy and a live band. In the main sessions on Friday and Saturday, author, speaker, director Jo Saxton will encourage women to engage in missional living and discipleship. Her message specifically equips women for leadership and influence and inspires all believers to engage the world in the same way God does—by going out rather than just reaching out. 

On Saturday, everyone gets to choose a "living room session" to attend featuring three local leaders sharing their perspective on a brave topic, followed by time for you to ask questions.  There will be topics on things like having brave conversations about sexuality, why the church needs women to be brave,  being brave as a single woman, being brave enough to submit,  how brave women can help bring racial reconciliation, and we'll host a session for our Spanish speakers.

Also on Saturday, everyone gets to choose a Conversation Circle to attend after the Living Room Sessions.  They will join a small group of women to talk about what brave looks like right where you are in your workplace, marriage, parenting, social circles, and churches.

Over the 20 years at this church, I have made many girlfriends and some of those friendships have begun at a women's conference.  I met one of my dearest friends at last year's Brave Conference!  I hope you will think about joining us, promoting us, and especially praying for this May 1-2 event! 

Comment on how you've helped!  Thanks for being BRAVE!

Shawn